WHY EVERY MAN NEEDS A DOG

They say a dog is man’s best friend.  Every man has friends in his life, good friends, so why do we need a “best friend” who is furry and needs to be fed and walked?  I didn’t know the answer to this question until recently when I took in two dogs, one a small overweight Chihuahua, Jumbo, and the other a Terrier, Chihuahua mix, Muscles. 

I have always been a very allergic person.  Cats, dogs (so I thought), pollen, mold, mites, milk, you name it and I am allergic to it.  So when the prospect of living with two animals was presented to me a few months back, I was cool to the idea, to say the least.  First, I had never lived with animals, and second, I thought I was allergic to dogs.  Turns out I am not, a fact which has drastically changed my life in the past two months.

Muscles is an outgoing, loveable, energetic and playful dog who loves to hangout and relax all the time.  As soon as I come home from work and open the door he runs over to the spot on the couch where I watch TV and rub his belly.  It sounds slightly nauseating to hear the details of this pattern, but it is only nauseating to non-pet and specifically non-dog owners.  Two months ago I was one of these narrow-minded non-dog owners who would not have understood how rewarding it could be to return home and have that four-legged friend waiting to play.

So why does every man need a dog?  I think there are three reasons.  The first reason is that it is a huge stress release to have a close relationship with a dog.  I never understood it, but having a mutually beneficial relationship with a being who has unwavering loyalty and who desires nothing more than to play and be rubbed lowers my stress levels unlike anything else.  Not only is it nice to rub something soft everyday (yes, even grown men can admit its nice to rub something soft) but also the reciprocal licks from my best friend are extremely stress relieving.

Much more significant is how having a dog prepares a man for the most feared stage of his life…no, not marriage (which might a be close second for some), but having kids.  For those like myself who never had another being to feed and take care of, becoming responsible for the care of a dog is a life-changing experience.  I am no longer that selfish kid who wakes up when he pleases and lives according to no other schedule than my own.  How the hell can that kid possibly expect to get married and in a few years time be ready to be a father? 

I don’t know if anyone is ever really ready to have a kid, but living with and taking care of a dog surely moves one closer to a stage of readiness.  Even the most macho and toughest of men want, or accept the reality that they will one day have kids.  In my opinion, every man needs a dog to prepare for this process.  The man’s new best friend can guide him through the process of fatherhood by instilling within him a sense of responsibility while simultaneously providing the new father with the stress release and playtime that all grown men need. 

Finally, having a dog prepares a man for poop.  My only experience with another beings poop was when I took care of my nephew for a week.  That week was a mess, both figuratively and literally, for both my nephew and myself.  But walking the dogs and picking up their poop in the poop bag has numbed my gag reflex to the point where I am confident that I could deal with the poop of any animal, especially one with my own DNA.

So while Muscles has become my new best friend, I have learned some important life lessons and taken a significant step in my own development.  Having a dog is a unique experience that both relaxes yet educates a man at the same time.  Every man could use that.

Also, an important note, please be sure to adopt a pet from an animal shelter as opposed to buying one from a pet store.